Did you know that joy is our deepest human motivation and need? And that this kind of joy comes from heart-connections in our relationships?
Joy is that delicious feeling we experience when we “fall in love,” whether that’s with the love of our life, our newborn baby or grandchild, or a wiggly, new puppy. Joy is produced in the brain when we share secure attachment bonds with those we love. Joy is the look on someone’s face that tells you they are delighted to see you. It’s the look that says, “I’m so glad you are in my life!”
“If I need joy so much,” you might ask, “how can I get it?”That’s a great question.
Thanks to neuroscience, we now know there’s a circuit in the brain that helps regulate our emotions, and profoundly impacts our lives and our relationships. It runs on joy—and we can learn to control it.
You can almost view it as a switch. The challenge is that when it switches off, our joy evaporates. Suddenly, life looks grim—and sometimes even hopeless. Once we drift out of relational mode, we focus on problems and pain, and we’re robbed of deep, meaningful interactions. The people we love can feel like enemies, and negative emotions take over.
All of us have things that knock us out of relational mode; difficult emotions we can’t manage on our own. Fatigue, disappointment, feeling alone, misunderstood, or unprotected. Even low blood sugar, or interacting with someone who doesn’t stop to let us rest—all these and more can make it hard to stay relational.
But there’s good news: There are action steps we can take that will flip our joy switch back on, and bring hope and warmth back into our lives. In fact, if we make joy-switch habits a part of every day, we can make sure we will never again run out of joy for very long. We can literally learn how to becomeEmpowered by Joy!™
When something flips our joy switch off, we can turn it back on by practicing the habits that help us calm and get relational again. A refreshing stroll out in fresh air. Nature. Quiet and rest. Playing with a pet, practicing gratitude and appreciation, listening to music, talking to a friend, a warm cup of tea, asking for a hug, and more. If we identify what works for us, we can improve the quality of our interactions and help ourselves reconnect with those we love. And there’s a bonus: the kind of heart connections that produce joy in the brain also help us heal trauma and beat addiction. Isn’t that amazing?
When the relational circuit is running, we feel thankful, plugged in, and flexible. Interactions are satisfying. Life is more colorful and meaningful. With connection comes attunement; we feel seen, heard, understood, and valued.
We invite you to join us by learning how to add joy to your self-care regimen, whether you are a traumatized partner, or a recovering sex addict. It can make all the difference in your healing!
Do you know when your joy switch is off? Take this FREE assessment to measure your ability to relationally stay engaged.
Want to learn more? Order The Joy Switch: How Your Brain’s Secret Circuit Affects Your Relationships—and How You Can Activate It, today!
And more still? Register for the webinar, Understanding Your Joy Switch Event – THRIVEtoday