Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means’ personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships.

Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors’ lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

Praise for Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

This sensible and authoritative guide will serve as a comforting source for those with a sexually addicted partner and as a resourceful approach for counselors.

–Antoinette Brinkman
Library Journal

Affects of sexual addiction are devastating, from the first surge of shock through the speechless terror, riding the wave of disassociation, from this is really only a bad dream to reality; you are never the same. This book covers it. It validates your deep painful wounds, explains the trauma, chemical reactions in your body, gives you concrete recommendations, and does not skirt the physical / psychological reality of harm and priority of safety. Awesome reality checks to pastors and counselors as well as in depth bibliography if you choose to go deeper.

Kudos to Barbara and Marsha, for shifting the paradigm and giving many such a powerful concise tools to deal with the obliteration of their security and trust; personally your timing has been perfect.


I finally feel like there is someone IN here, WITH me. Someone understands where I have lived the last 5 years, and prior. Thank you Marsha and Barb. Thank You.I can’t stress enough that this is a must read for partners and those who want a window into partners’ souls. Counselors – please, please, I beg you, read this. Understanding, validation and affirmation have been the MOST soothing and healing things I have experienced on my path toward healing this traumatic, deep pain.