My husband only used pornography, unlike some of the men I read about who use prostitutes, go to strip bars, and have affairs. Does he really have a problem, or is this normal for a man in our society?

Sex addiction is often called “a progressive disease,” meaning that if left untreated, it often leads to progressively “worse” forms of sexual acting out (although this isn’t true 100% of the time). In addition, Scripture doesn’t categorize sin of any kind by degrees of “badness.” So, while you may not be at risk of contracting Herpes or HIV today if your partner only uses porn, you cannot know ahead of time what your risk may be tomorrow, or next year, or five years from now.

Therefore, if your partner is using any kind of sexually inappropriate behavior to deal with life or achieve an emotional or physical high, you are married to someone who is violating your marriage vows, someone who is using outside sexual stimulation in place of true intimacy with you, and someone whos behavior could progress to more dangerous forms of sexual acting out behavior. And, no matter what he does when he acts out, his behavior drains away sexual energy that God intended for your mutual love relationship. That energy may hold the spark needed to add an exciting “zing” to your sex life, and make it the thrilling physical relationship you have always dreamed it could be.

So, no matter what form your partner’s sexual acting out may presently take, you both have a problem, and you are most likely the only one who is currently ready to get help and deal with it. And for that reason, there is a good chance that you hold the key to recovery, not only for yourself, but for him and for your marriage.

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