I know my husband won’t like being labeled a “sex addict.” Isn’t there another term I can use when I talk to him about using pornography?

Although your concern about your husband’s feelings is seemingly kind and caring, in order to “get well”, your husband must face how deeply he has hurt you, and compromised himself and his marriage. Yet we understand your desire to not use words or labels that would cause him to tune you, out or to get angry and direct attention away from his own behavior. The term, “sexually compulsive behavior” is a little easier for a man to wear, and if it seems important to you, it might provide the verbal bridge you are searching for. But do be careful not to work so hard to protect your husband from pain, that you make it easy for him to avoid reality. As partner’s of sexually compulsive men, we often err on the side of over-protecting our partner’s feelings, and by doing so, become a part of his problem. Let him feel his failure, and pray that it causes him to realize where he is going and to reach out and ask for help before he sinks any deeper.

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