How much do I need to know regarding the details of his sexual behavior? Should I ask for descriptions of who, when, where, etc.?

A few women find that they need to know the details of their husband’s behavior in order to let go of it. They explain that without full knowledge of the details of what he has done, and who he has done it with, their imaginations conjure up worse images and situations than actually happened in real life. But, unless you really need to know details, we suggest that you don’t expose yourself to information that may set your mind up to repeatedly replay scenarios in full color and extreme detail.

The best answer to the question of “How much information is enough information” is inside you and you alone. Only you have walked in your shoes, and experienced your experiences. Yet many many women have told us they are sorry that they asked for the details. They say that now, no matter how hard they try to shut their minds off, they cannot. Their imaginations busily create chaos and won’t be silenced. We suggest that you ask for truth in bare outline form to begin with. Then, if you discover that your need to know continues and won’t be silenced, ask for a little more detail. In this way you will expose yourself to increasingly “colorful” information is small doses, and have the choice and power to say when enough is enough. You have already been deeply wounded; be cautious in asking for fresh wounds to be added to those that are healing.

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