Betrayal Trauma Quiz
On a scale of 0-5, 5 being extremely, and 0 not at all, answer the following questions:
Since learning about my partner’s betrayal…
I feel unsafe, especially with him. ___
My mind won’t stop spinning, and I can’t concentrate. ___
My mind races when I go to bed, and it’s extremely difficult to sleep. ___
My mind feels flat and shut down, and I struggle to get out of bed. ___
I have horrible nightmares and wake up exhausted. ___
I need his comfort, but he is the enemy. My body feels confused. ___
I sometimes feel like I’m reliving discovery. It’s like my brain keeps replaying what has happened, and I can’t make it stop. ___
I’m hypervigilant, and I jump at every little noise. ___
I don’t feel safe anywhere outside my home. ___
Since discovery, I feel alone, even with my former best friends and family. ___
I’m terrified friends and/or my family will find out about my partner’s betrayal. ___
I feel enormous shame. ___
I no longer trust my intuition; I somehow missed this. What else might I be missing? ___
I feel nauseous and can barely get food down. ___
I’m losing weight and people are starting to notice. ___
I can’t make myself stop checking up on him. ___
My emotions are like a roller coaster ride that I can’t get off. ___
My heart races and I can’t relax. ___
I’ve been plagued with headaches, shaking, or other new physical symptoms. ___
Since D-Day, I get triggered everywhere I go, especially if my husband is with me. ___
My self-esteem is in the toilet. ___
I sometimes have thoughts of suicide. ___
After writing a numeric value for each question, add the numbers and write the total here: ___
The highest possible numeric rating is 110 (5 pts x all 22 questions).
Where are you compared to 110?
Be aware that a high total means your trauma is severe, and you need help as soon as possible. I, Marsha Means, will happily talk with you to help you determine what to do to get help soon, based on your finances, location, and personal circumstances.
Even a total of 44 (2pts on 22 questions) reveals your body and emotions are on alert. And long-term, that heightened state of alert, and the chemicals it causes to be released into your system, can and does do damage at a cellular level. Not to mention setting up a cycle of PTSD.
So, I urge you to take action and get the help you need to begin to heal, so your body can begin to return to “calm.”
If you haven’t yet taken advantage of our free, one-hour phone call, please know that we stand ready to share our hope with you, and we would love to hear your story and answer any questions you may have.
Simply fill out the Partners of Sex Addicts Assessment Form and one of us will be in touch with you soon.
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