Hope, Help, and Healing
Who we are
At Betrayal Trauma to Healing & Joy, each of us has lived through the same heart-wrenching pain you’ve experienced because of your partner’s betrayal. We’ve healed, but we’ll never forget that searing pain you are now experiencing, because we have felt it too. Yet we know the path forward because we’ve walked it, and it gives us joy to guide you through your heartbreak to the other side where healing awaits you.
Hi, I’m Marsha
My own betrayal journey began in 1990, and like most women, I felt lost, alone, and confused. For the first three or four years, I lacked enough understanding to know where to turn or what to do. Then a life-shifting event took place, and I grew desperate, knowing I could not go on without a plan. Back then, almost no help was available, and the term “sex addict” wasn’t yet in the world’s vocabulary. Then I met a couple who had dealt with this kind of betrayal in their marriage, and they agreed to help. For the first time, I felt hope that with help, we could make it through the storm that had taken over my world. And for several years we did.
My story is long, but the short-version reads like this: Because my former husband—who is a wonderful human being—was a leader by nature and had spent his adult life in ministry, at the end of 1999, he launched a sex addiction recovery ministry, and I was a part of that with him. Back then the Internet was ramping up, spawning easier access to pornography and extramarital sexual connections, and with it, the need for such help grew exponentially.
Soon we were helping other individuals and couples who were dealing with this addiction. We were writing books, doing radio interviews, and ultimately training others so they, too, could help people in their own locales. But the demand was great, and we couldn’t keep up. Stress increased and down time was stretched thin. And because stress can be a trigger, causing us to turn to “our drug of choice” to help us cope, it’s easy to understand what followed. Slowly, we began a downward spiral. Ultimately, that spiral blew our world apart, and our marriage ended.
Like all who experience trauma, I had to grieve the many losses and find my way forward. In those early years facing life alone, I learned that God could use my story and pain to help other women facing similar circumstances. And so it was that helping them provided me with life-giving strength, and a path forward.
My solo journey began in 2004, and it continues. Along the way I needed help to keep up with requests for help, so I invited other women to join me in meeting women where they hurt, and we became a team. Each of our stories is unique, but enormous trauma and loss is at the heart of each. But so is healing and new found joy. And we love helping others find their way to healing and making the discovery that even in this painful experience, new-found joy and treasure does awaits their discovery beneath the pain in their own trauma chest.
Today we offer several types of support groups for women, including an entry-level group to process your loss and trauma, and begin to find your voice and speak your truth; a boundaries group; and a group that helps you make your own joy-discoveries. In addition, I now facilitate a group for men in sexual addiction recovery who want to learn how to be a part of their partner’s healing by learning relational and emotional skills most boys are not taught as they grow up. I also offer a group for couples who’ve healed enough to pursue newfound connection and intimacy, with the help of Emotionally Focused Therapy.
And we’d love to help you, wherever you are in your journey.